Dethklok - The Dethalbum (2007)

Axon - War Anthems (2007)

Axon are Mexican broootal death metal. Emphasis on brutal. And snare. So much snare. This album is completely inaudible. The mix is muddier than a living room in New Orleans and buried under the most obnoxious snare and cymbal battery this side of St Anger. It might only be twenty-one minutes long, but you'll be bored to tears after two.

Occasionally something other than the monotonous drum barrage or vocals aborrecida will permeate the filth such as the bass spazm of the title track or deceptively calming intros to 'The Signal' or 'True Evil'. War Anthems also wins the award for the most ironically appropriate cover with Mortician's 'Hacked Up For BBQ' making an appearance. It still can't save this short, sharp blast of dull, uninspired banality though.

3/10

Dethklok - The Dethalbum (2007)

Kickass cartoon of deathmetal magic? Mediocre metal homage? Or puerile perpetuator of the tired stereotype that all metalheads are borderline retards and at any given moment may choke to death on their own tongue? The jury's out, with it appearing as if majority opinion falls with the former. Either way, Dethklok's album of deathlite cartoon anthems is likely to shift a few units, despite being barely more than 52 minutes of palm muting, Queen leads and lyrics you might find in the fortune cookies of a Chinese restaurant run by Amon Amarth.

Even a casual viewer of the show will be familiar with many of the songs with the appearance of such "hits" as 'Murmaider', 'Birthday Dethday' and 'Awaken'. Now, there are a few catchy riffs dispersed throughout. Granted, they tend to be the only riff in any given song, but catchy is catchy. The rest of it comes across like the worlds longest breakdown. Chug chug chug chug chug chug zzzzzzzzzzzzz. To give a little credit where it's due, 'Go Into The Water' is a little 'Flash Gordon' and 'Castratikon' is slightly evocative of a dumbed down Ancient Existence. 'Hatredcopter' sounds like the only "real" song (having previously seen release on the Saw III soundtrack) with a bit of variety and Mustaine-esque clean vocals thrown in.

There is a temptation to disproportionatly languish Brendon Small with praise for not only creating a successful cartoon but also composing an entire "metal" album (aided by the meaty sticksmanship of Gene Hoglan). However, you really don't need to be a Berklee College of Music graduate to make an album this tedious. Furthermore, anyone familiar with Doc Hammer's (aka Eric Arthur Hammer, co-writer of The Venture Bros) Mors Syphilitica is likely to remain equally unimpressed.

2/10